Fairness

it’s unfair that some people have easy lives — big, happy families, healthy parents, etc, and there’s us, the children of divorce, the parentless children, those who’ve had to deal with their parents’ mental illness, those who suffered abuse…

I know many heart wrenching stories, including my own.

Our parents were the children of parents who had gone to war, had been through hunger, who saw kids as “another mouth to feed” and not as people. My parents had been children during communism. They had lived half of their lives in communism. With parents who came from war and hunger.

Imagine the lives of those people, how conscious do you think they were? Did they talk about PTSD, did anyone have the energy even to put in this direction and educate themselves? Who said, in the 1950s, I’m reading this great book about how trauma affects your brain! ?

I’ll tell you who. No. body. They had been at war, through hunger, my grandparent’s lives had been crisis after crisis. We, their grandchildren, have no idea. Perhaps some did have it easier, though, I don’t know their stories. One thing is clear, education about human behaviour was definitely not widely available, and very few sought this knowledge. Most people lived in the dark, with no means to explain or express what they were going through. And passing on their pain to their children — our parents.

If we chose to come to this life and chose the conditions in which to be born, then some of us went straight for the HARD mode of this game. We did not come here to look around and try some things, we came here to be challenged.

I’m not sure it is “unfair” that some of us had (apparently) easier lives than others. Yes, maybe growing up with sane parents is different than living with a mentally ill parent, in constant stress and chaos. But that doesn’t say that the sane parents didn’t have their own issues. First of all, you don’t know what’s happening in someone’s private life, neither should you. And just because my childhood was more overall dramatic than yours does not mean you had it better than me. How can you measure a person’s feelings? We all have issues ( trauma, unhealthy patterns, etc.)— just different ones. And we are more or less aware of them.

I’ve come to learn that it’s key to focus on ourselves knowing that everyone else is struggling with their stuff at their own pace. It’s not a race.

And who’s to say what is and isn’t fair when it comes to how you came into this world? Unless, of course, we asked for the challenge.

Let’s imagine for a moment we did. And we got into this life exactly where we wanted — when we were startdust travelling through outer space.

We asked to come here in these conditions because we had a purpose. We wanted to heal, to have this cathartic existence and be channels for the light. What I’m saying is that we bring healing into the world by healing ourselves.

Our purpose is to invite the light in our lives and through that let more of it in the world.

The light is higher awareness and love. It’s trusting oneself and becoming aligned. Alas, you need to break apart in order for the light to be able to come through you. It’s like giving birth to yourself spiritually — it takes a toll on the body. It’s not cute but it is worth every push.

That is doing your part for the collective consciousness. And that is why you came here on Earth. You came to look beyond your own ego and constructed identity and just manifest freely and positively.

When you start to heal, people will notice. That is the light the world needs.

So, if we all came here to different circumstances, we can learn from each other — there’s no point in comparison other than to satisfy the ego.

I’m not sure it’s unfair that things are different. I don’t think it’s fair either. I think fairness has nothing to do with it. It’s just the way of the world.

Some plants grow on the side of the road and get peed on by dogs, but they don’t look at the plants hanging from the balconies thinking they have it better than us ( while the plants from the balcony look down in the garden and wish they lived there). It’s just the way things are.

Fairness cannot be applied to nature — it’s an artificial construct. It cannot be applied to where and how you were born.

However, once you’re here, you get to decide what is and is not fair to you. Note to self: use this discernment wisely and don’t waste it on things beyond your control.

I can’t genuinely say I am thankful for all the pain I’ve had to feel, all the things I didn’t have the tools to deal with as a child, things that were dealt to me — I could’ve been born in a different dimension under a different form where there is no pain and everyone is just enlightened by default. But I was born on Earth and things here are like this. Thankfully I know I can rise above my conditioning here.

There are so many like me. So many who’ve had to face difficult things, whose stories are heart-breaking and humbling. So many survivors, so many beacons of light in this world.

What would be unfair is not learning from each other. There is so much to be learnt. We have an amazing opportunity to help heal the world — every one of us, by sharing our stories and keeping our hearts open to be healed. No matter how difficult that is, or how unfair our ego tells us it is— and that is real strength.